Pt 4 That Dangerous Rice Milk

I have to take a moment here and explain that I am a rule follower. I don't like to make waves and I believe that given an opportunity, I can explain what is happening and everyone will get a good chuckle and we can move on. I know that if I insist on trying now to explain to the SP I will only be slowing things down. I know that as soon as the police office arrives I will be given the time to explain. So, I wait patiently while all of the other passengers glare at my huge family and think, "Hey lady, don't you know what causes six children?"

Now I wait, with all eyes staring at me while one of the SPs walks down the corridor- note, not SP#2 who is still sitting on her behind- and tells my husband something. Then one of the children yells to me, "It's the cap gun" Oh my goodness! I can not believe this. The cap gun did it. Someone did not pack the cap gun in the check in luggage. AHHHHHHH!!!!! So here comes Officer Airport who looks at the machine (our bag is still in the x-ray machine)and then at me and says, "What is in this bag that might have me concerned?" Now, I am not feeling scared or intimidated here, but I did feel as though Officer Airport thought she was talking to a second grader and it was a bit annoying. So I say, "It must be my son's cap gun." With a sigh of relief she says, "Yes it is." I fully understand, and appreciate, the concern for airport security, but some things are a little silly. Not one person who has committed an act of domestic terrorism on our country brought their children along for the fun. What upset me was not -the police being called in, the stopping of the line, the seriousness of the situation. In all seriousness, it is quite possible that we could have looked away from our bags for a moment while someone did slip a gun into our bag, hoping that the SP would not worry precisely because we are obviously not terrorists and then reclaimed the gun while on the plane. No, what had me so upset was the way my family was spoken to and treated, as though speaking to us in any fashion other than rude might result in the attitude that guns on planes are not dangerous.

Officer Airport took the bag to another table so that the line could be reopened and searched it. Removed the gun, examined it, determined it to be a child's toy cap gun and pardoned the gun from a sentence of a lifetime in a landfill. No, she allowed us to bring the child's toy cap gun onto the plane and gave a stern and grave warning. "This toy gun must remain in the bag at all times. If it is removed and seen by other passengers panic can ensue. AND if there happened to be an air marshal on board, real guns could be drawn!"

"No problem!" I declare. However, my husband was not satisfied. He needed to explain, he needed Officer Airport to truly understand, that we are not careless parents. No, we are not the kind of people who think that bringing a gun, even a toy gun, on board a plane is just a big joke. So, every time Officer Airport takes a breath during her diatribe, he squeezes a few words in. And every time he speaks, she stops speaking and then starts ALL OVER AGAIN when he is done. I finally elbow him and tell him to be quiet so that we can leave.

Finally, the nightmare ends. We are on the plane. We can see the sun setting on our vacation. We know that home is approaching. Ahhhhh, the peace, the tranquility. Then I remember. We have to do this again tomorrow morning at the Dallas Airport!!!!!!!